Frustrations and Hopes

Monday, June 17, 2013

So here I am once again, blogging my way out of frustration.

Why hello there? It's been a year since I last visited you. What's up? Crazy question uh? It's like me asking myself back haha! Well, life after college is like being in an island where it's your first time in that island. There are lots of tourist. Lots of trash but people keep on coming. I am not talking about Boracay here. I must say, Boracay is well, not so clean place, it's crowded but I believe there are officials who do weekly clean up on the seashore. Boracay, such a known wonderful and lively place. 

My life after college is so much similar to it. Most people in my age or older than me know how life would be like after thesis, after recitations, after class cards that's why i tagged it as known. Wonderful, yes,what an exciting adventure it could be. Intense and sweaty palms indeed. You will not be talking to your cool professor anymore, you'll gonna exchange witty answers to bosses, managers, specialist. It takes so much guts to face such people. And that makes it exciting. After an gut-wrenching interview, you'll feel the relief you have never felt before. When you're hired, you only think what to wear, how to connect, how to impress and what's next. Lively, hmm, I should say somewhere in between. In my case, I was once lively, once energetic, once excited, once once... You'll come to a point where you'll miss college, you'll miss the freedom. You'll miss not going to work on a holiday, you'll miss going home early, the in between gala. Life in college, is so much easier than being employed. You are no longer thinking of yourself getting high grades or tricking your parents that you are in school but you weren't, you were just at the mall loitering with your friends. You are now more of, working to not get an NTE, to not get fired, to earn money for your own luxury. You'll also come to a point where you're getting so much used to what you are doing especially when your job is routinary. You'll forget how exciting life is after graduation because you are stuck with emails, your work station, your desktop, your mug, your unprofessional boss and it sucks. Really.

Nothings too hard with what I'm doing. I appreciate the company, the benefits they're giving to us employees. I know, I am in a very good company. And I am blessed by it. However, there are some circumstances that you just wanna walk away with and be oblivious about. That burdensome feeling you get when its unfair. You see it. You know what to do. You know what to say and you just can't do it. You just can't. It could be that the timing is not there, you have no back up support, or people on top are too aggressive and  intimidating. You like what you're doing, you are happy with the company but you are not pleased with the fraud, biases happening around and it gets into your nerves that people on top are too blindsided about this. I am not generalizing these people. I am just pertaining to some. It's sad that I have been considering to transfer to another company for the past 5 months or more. This is my first job and it hurts my soul to think that I'll be leaving. It's like your first puppy love. You don't love him, you just like him but as time goes by you get attached to him and leaving him means a part of you is gonna be broken.

I am now planning my 3 months and will start saving up and try to think of something I can reward myself for a year of perseverance and patience in this company. A gadget maybe, a trip could be or a makeover. :)

Whatever happens in the future, I know my God has plans for me, plans not to harm me but to prosper me and give me a future. He will supply my needs in times I would be jobless. He will supply a suitable and enjoyable job for me. Specifics, it must be near, not prone to floods and snatchers. Salary wise, just a 50-75% increase will do plus meal allowance. :) I am not longing for too much, just what I can handle emotionally and mentally. Just as I can save up for the future, for a house and lot and for charities. It is my childhood dream to be able to share and give some to the needy, to abandoned lolos and lolas.

So there, just bits of what I've been through for the past year. 'Til next time.


Best Regards,
Fam